Iced Tea Forever

Did I say something one time about posting some poetic masterpieces themed around Krispy Kreme donuts? Well here they are.

I was inspired to write these masterpieces (originally published here) several years ago by Life in the Shoe‘s daughter Emily.

The Krispy Kreme donut store rocks,
I think all their donuts are tops.
I’m walking on air,
Don’t ask me to share,
Just go in and get your own box!

A Krispy Kreme donut is swell,
I really do like them quite well.
But don’t make me state
How many I ate,
I really would rather not tell!

Tom Troyer
9-’02

I’m just kidding about that last line, I’ll tell. My goal always was to eat an entire dozen original glazed in one sitting. I don’t think I ever did it though. But I did consume 10 once.

Here is a brilliant piece of cinematography featuring me, the Baritone, and One Last Donut. Produced by AHQ years ago on a tour with Paul, Life in the Shoe‘s husband.

I used to have a lot of bikes. Most weren’t much to look at when I got them, some of them stayed that way. But a few of them I tricked out and had my bud (the painter at work) squirt on a custom one-off paint job.

I don’t have pics of some of the bikes, I really wish I did. Maybe there are some somewhere, but I don’t know. Like the last street bike we did. I had an old ’87 Honda Hurricane CBR 600 (back when they called the CBR the Hurricane) that we did a really nice paint job on. Londo (painter bud) was very creative. I turned him loose on it and he came up with some really cool stuff.

Anyway, this ’85 Honda 250R was my main machine (I rode mostly on the dunes) for quite a while. It looked pretty rough but it ran great. Until I blew up the motor. So I ripped it to shreds, rebuilt it, and me and Londo came up with this paint scheme.

This is what they look like stock.

So after I turned it into a showpiece, I just couldn’t ride it anymore. Too nice, I needed to ride bikes that I wasn’t afraid to scratch. I went to dirt bikes after I sold the 250R, got me an ’88 Honda CR 500. Now that’s a man’s motorcycle. 500 cc’s of mind-blowing 2-stroke power.

And for good measure, here’s the car I drove for, I don’t know, 8 or 9 years? ’82 Camaro Z28, 305 V8, 4-speed.

These are old analog pics, I had to scan them in. I felt like a historian or something, trying to preserve a piece of the distant past. What did we do before digital cameras?!! How inconvenient and limited! The advent of the digital camera was to photography what Columbus discovering America was to mankind.

Jewel worked last night. She called me from there, she often does. Except this time I was asleep, it was about 11:30. I have absolutely zero recollection of the following alleged conversation.

Tom: Hello.

Jewel: Were you sleeping?

Tom: No, I was just about out though.

Jewel: Oh, I’m sorry, go back to sleep.

Tom: No, what did you want?

Jewel: Oh nothing in particular, I’ll talk to you later, sleep good.

Tom: That’s not possible.

Jewel: Why not?

Tom: Because I have to screw it down.

Jewel: What?

Tom: Because I have to screw it down.

Jewel: WHAT did you say !!!

Tom: Because I have to screw it down.

Jewel: What do you have to screw down?

Tom: The cup.

Jewel: You need to go back to sleep. Good night!!

Here’s a quick and wonderful and healthy and satisfying snack sure to be enjoyed by anyone with a taste for the finer things in life. And it’s diet too.

Here’s what you need:

Spinach, boiled eggs, bacon bits, grated cheese, salad dressing, and iced tea. I can’t believe I don’t have any bleu cheese on hand, that’s my favorite. I really haven’t ate much salad since I’ve been on my own. I like it, I guess I’ve just been focusing on meat.

Spinach is vastly superior to lettuce, ITF highly recommends it. Unfortunately it is more expensive, that figures I guess. Just don’t cook it! Cooked spinach is nasty.

Put desired amount of spinach into serving bowl, dump in bacon bits. Dice 2 hardboiled eggs into large chunks, dump those in.

Throw on a handful of grated cheese, top with plenty of salad dressing!

The perfect companion to this delightful, healthy diet snack is a glass of wonderful raspberry tea!

Makes 1 small serving.

Iced Tea is the second-most popular beverage in the whole world. Water is the first.

I brew one gallon of tea at a time. I know, that’s not much, it doesn’t last long. I’d like to make more at a shot but I haven’t figured out a good way yet.

I usually cold brew, it’s much easier and the Lipton cold brew stuff tastes great. They say it only needs 3 or 5 minutes, but I usually do it for anywhere from a half-hour to several hours. I want to make sure I get it all out of those bags! I always used filtered water, four bags of tea to one gallon. I add around a cup of sugar, sometimes more, sometimes a little less. Then finish it off with a shot of lemon juice, maybe a shy tablespoon or so.

Now, this is where I’ve pretty much given up on trying to remain humble. In fact, I’m almost ready to label myself a genuine genius.

Don’t use ice cubes! Instead, use frozen fruit. The official ITF preferred fruit is peaches, but we also love raspberries and blackberries. It’s probably no coincidence that those three magnificent products of nature are found in abundance in Utopia!

You’ll notice in my brilliant Monster Diet Burger post that there are indeed frozen peach slices in the iced tea shown in the pics. And watch for some (non-photo-op, Naomi) raspberries in the iced tea in an upcoming post!

I got a letter in the mail today from my sister, she sent me Trenton’s latest pictures:

I’m a singer. I have a buddy at work who is a singer too. We like to talk about music and singing and stuff and compare notes. He has monster chops, cords of steel. Today he asked me what I’m doing Saturday night. I said I didn’t know. He invited me to a show his band is doing. He sings heavy metal with his band called 7 Head Scream. I asked him if there was going to be anybody else there, he said yeah several other bands.

I said, well, that might be a little bigger dose of heavy metal than I could handle! He says, yeah, it might be!

Here is a picture I like. I took it when I was in Utopia over Christmas, we went to the zoo.

If you don’t like it that’s really too bad, because I do.

To what shall we give the dubious honor of being the dumbest words ever? I humbly submit “hoosier” and “michiana.”

I’ve got some really cool stuff coming up on ITF. I’m going to post (pictures too) about barbershop quartets, a 250R, and some Krispy Kreme poetic masterpieces. Unrelatedly.