Why is it that people love to wax eloquent about their medical issues? I don’t know, but I’m certainly no exception! A quick way to bore other people to tears is to talk on and on about your physical ailments, I know that. But it doesn’t stop me from doing it in this forum, for some reason. Maybe because when I preserve my insights on ITF it just seems like typing on my computer, not speaking to the whole world through the internet.

Besides, with as many medical issues as I have, it’s a regular treasure trove of material.

Recently I was subjected to a certain medical procedure called an EGD (upper endoscopy). Basically they jam a scope down your throat and look around and do stuff. It’s not too bad, they knock you out for it, so that’s nice. (Side note: I can’t wait to get the pictures from it so I can post them here!)

Except — I’m hard to sedate. I’m naturally resistant to medication, it takes a boatload to have an effect on me. I’ve proven that time and again in the dental field, as well as other times and situations.

Anyway, they socked it to me and started to work. He had to go in and out with his scope 4 different times, so it took longer than normal and was a little rougher than usual. BUT the bad thing was somewhere in the middle of this whole thing I started to wake up!!!

I was not thrilled!!

They quickly shot me up with more la-la juice and finished their business.

My wife was with me in the recovery room. She claims that when I was coming to, I was rather, um, rude. She says I was chewing out the nurse saying I didn’t get enough sedative, that I woke up in the middle of it, that I SAID I need a lot of medication!

She rolled her eyes at the nurse and they both ignored me.

How embarrassing. I don’t remember any of that, but next time I’m going to apologize to the medical staff beforehand.

Then the doc came in and went over what all happened and what he did. He said, “We can normally do heart surgery with the amount of medication you took!”

Now he knows for next time. Man it hurt though, that was a rough one. I couldn’t eat right for days, then there were other residual effects that lasted even longer. Turns out I’m a real mess in there.

A week later we went in for the follow up. I have acid reflux and some strange allergy related condition (I don’t remember what it was called, it was some 64 syllable word) that work together or are closely entwined and they cause my stricture problems.

So I asked him, Doc, what does this allergy thing and acid reflux and asthma mean to my voice as a singer?

He kind of stopped and looked at me a little incredulously, then asked a couple questions. No, I didn’t sing for a living (I’d starve), I didn’t actually sing very much anymore, but I’d like to again. Then he dropped the verdict: “Don’t quit your day job,” he said. “I’m surprised you can sing at all!”

Nothing like a little encouragement!

So, joy of joys, I have to have another one of these things in a couple months. I asked him if he was going to give me enough sedative this time. He assured me they would, “Now we know,” he said.

He mused further, “We could have dropped a bison with the amount of sedative we gave you!”