A few nights ago I went in to the hospital to visit Jewel while she was working night shift. One of the nurses had left this finger pulse-and-oxygen-level checker sitting on the counter, so I started playing with it.

It was really cool, I told Jewel I want one for my birthday. I was seeing how much I could get my numbers to fluctuate. I spanned 9 points I think on the blood oxygen level. Normal I was at 95, I breathed and breathed and got it up to 98, if I remember right. Then I didn’t breathe and didn’t breathe and held my breath and breathed into my fist because I didn’t have a paper bag and got it to drop to 89! I was proud. Jewel was not.

I forget exactly how much I got my pulse to fluctuate, but it was a little ways. It was fun. It was a wonder they didn’t take it away from me.