My wife really wanted a birdfeeder for Christmas, so I got her one. We’ve been enjoying watching all the birds in our backyard. We’ve seen a lot of different kinds.

Apparently though, we’ve attracted some of the neighborhood psycho birds. There is this one red cardinal (fittingly the Hoosierville state bird) that hammers our windows. Over and over.

For weeks this mentally challenged bird has consistently been nailing a very small ground-level basement window. For long periods of time. Once in a while just for variety, he’ll tap a bedroom window, or sometimes the front screen door.

My wife said that he was banging on a window once so she scared him off. Then she claimed he followed her around the house watching her through windows. He’s psycho, I tell you.

The past few days he’s starting to frequent the basement egress window right around the corner from my desk! I’m about ready to grab a 12 gauge and put an end to this, but I guess that would probably be illegal.

I wonder of there’s a mental impairment clause to shooting state birds.