My wife really wanted a birdfeeder for Christmas, so I got her one. We’ve been enjoying watching all the birds in our backyard. We’ve seen a lot of different kinds.
Apparently though, we’ve attracted some of the neighborhood psycho birds. There is this one red cardinal (fittingly the Hoosierville state bird) that hammers our windows. Over and over.
For weeks this mentally challenged bird has consistently been nailing a very small ground-level basement window. For long periods of time. Once in a while just for variety, he’ll tap a bedroom window, or sometimes the front screen door.
My wife said that he was banging on a window once so she scared him off. Then she claimed he followed her around the house watching her through windows. He’s psycho, I tell you.
The past few days he’s starting to frequent the basement egress window right around the corner from my desk! I’m about ready to grab a 12 gauge and put an end to this, but I guess that would probably be illegal.
I wonder of there’s a mental impairment clause to shooting state birds.
5 Responses
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Easy.
Open the shotgun shell and replace the current shot with a load of stout bird feed.
Load your LDBF (ie Long Distance Bird Feeder), grab a handful of bird feed, and go outside to properly entertain your FC (ie Feathered Company).
Leave your LDBF by the back door. Walk toward FC with outstretched feed-laden hand. Try this for a reasonable amount of time; say, five (ie 5) minutes.
Retrieve LDBF and try the RFM (ie Remote Feeding Method).
“I wanted to feed the beautiful creature, but I couldn’t get close enough, so I had to improvise….”
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Nothing short of genius!
May 24th, 2007 at 7:47 am
blush
Thanks!
May 24th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I think he believes he’s courting her…in that case, shooting is appropriate. I had a friend that had a tom turkey :) doing that to her, he’d even chase her husband. Had an unfortunate accident with a gun also.
June 2nd, 2007 at 1:57 pm
That is a hilarious story!! Thanks for causing me to have a good laugh!! Can’t say that i have ever seen a mentally challenged bird!!! :-)