There are a lot of small-town festivals around here, and some of them are pretty goofy. I’m trying to figure out what they say about Hoosierville, but it’s beyond me.

There’s fruit festivals, like the Apple Festival, Starlight Strawberry Festival, and the Blueberry Festival, but that isn’t atrocious. Something like the “Maple Syrup Festival,” now there’s a classic! And I thought it couldn’t get any worse, then I heard about the Marshmallow Festival! No kidding.

There’s the Chocolate Fest, Dogwood Festival, Mushroom Festival (yes, mushroom. Good lands.), the Gasthof Spring Festival (what ?!!! Gasthof!!! Give me a break!), Kites n K9 Festival, Master Harold’s Downtown Greensburg Fiddlefest, Taste of Noble County Ethnic Festival, Valpo-Fest, All-American Country Hoedown, Celebrate Schererville Festival, Gem Mineral – Fossil Show – Swap, German Fest, Indiana Highland Games (maybe better titled as the Kilt Fest), Loogootee Summer Fest, Lotus Dickey Hometown Reunion, Pierogi Festival , Brownstown Melonfest, Great Goshen Grill Out (oh my), Jasper Strassenfest (what !), Medaryville Community Potato Fest, Bossaer Farms Pumpkin Festival, Mansfield Village Cornbread Festival (hey! Maybe I could get into that one), Wizard of Oz Festival, Hoosier Heritage Fall Tour (there’s a can’t-miss!), Rising Sun Navy Bean Festival (good lands. Navy bean.), etc., etc.

And over in Valparaiso they have the Popcorn Festival. We went to Valpo to hear Max Q that weekend, and they certainly got a lot of mileage out of the Popcorn fest! They were making fun of it their entire set. I loved it.