Remember the Finger Thing? This is kinda like that, except this time I show even more astounding mental power.

I was up in the hospital again last night visiting my wife, and she took my blood pressure. It was a terrible reading, which alarmed me quite a bit. Because I’ve never taken a bad blood pressure reading in my life, not even when I was so sick I was knocking on death’s door!

It was 142 over high eighties or something with a pulse rate of 88.

I was distraught.

A few minutes later I remembered that the human mind has tremendous control over the body. I told my wife, “Take it again, I’ll lower it with mental control.”

She initially dismissed me, but finally acquiesced to my request. I willed my physicality to bend to my demands and manifest itself a lower blood pressure reading.

Sure enough! The results showed a dramatic improvement! She printed out a receipt for me (how neat! I didn’t know they could do that), which I have posted for your convenience:

You’ll see that the systolic reading is a full 8 points lower! The diabolic score is a handful of points lower, and my pulse rate was a full 3 points lower. This is nothing short of an astronomical improvement.

I wonder how much the medical field knows about this phenomenon. Maybe I should launch a campaign aimed at educating victims of high blood pressure of this amazing technique I have perfected.