WARNING: Graphic photos.

As I was forcibly immersed in the Den of Iniquity for over 12 hours today, it could go without saying that I am a slightly disgruntled employee. And I only was able to leave then after I bartered away my soul to the management, finally persuading them to relinquish me from their clutches. Good night. It is beyond asinine in there. And I’m disgruntled for many more reasons than today, so don’t go getting all self-righteous and preachy on me about how much longer farmers work or something equally ridiculous. I’ve been around the block. I know what the score is. I’ve worked much longer days than today. Bottom line is that you don’t know this situation and I do so just leave it at that!

Wow. After that little rant I feel refreshed! I was going to chronicle my recent victorious battle so that I would feel better about today’s experience in the Den, but I don’t have to anymore! For your benefit and enlightenment, however, I will anyway.

I’m becoming increasingly bitter and cynical about my absurdly inept valium and halcion. Each use renders it less and less effective. This time I took 2 valiums and 1 halcion and they must have just canceled each other out. Very disappointing. I walked in to the dentists office cheerful, bright, alert, witty, and charming. In an ideal world I shouldn’t even remember arriving.

Anyway, here’s the outcome:

Victor on the left, Vanquished on the right!

Though the victor does appear a bit shaken by the ordeal.

Here’s the position the vanquished formerly held, roughly.

Here’s a nice close-up. Man, those roots are big. Left a big ol’ gap in the gumline, let me tell you. Be thankful I’m not posting a pic of THAT!

Not hard to see why I was ready to repeal this thing’s right to residency in my oral cavity.

I was forced to resort to uncharacteristically devious means in order to procure my violently-removed fang. I asked the nurse if I could have it and she said yes. “It is your tooth,” she remarked.

But she came back a little later singing a different tune. Some stupid regulation undoubtedly dreamed up by a democrat forbid them of handing out leftover molars. “Do you really need it?” she asked. I said yes I did. I didn’t tell her, but I wanted it to show all the loyal ITF constituents.

She had it in a cup, so I longing looked at it for a minute or two while she patiently waited on me. Then she got the hint I think and kindly turned her back. I quickly slipped the appendage in my pocket, set the cup down on the counter, and briskly walked out of the room.

Normally I don’t do things like that, but I thought it was pretty important.