As I was forcibly immersed in the Den of Iniquity for over 12 hours today, it could go without saying that I am a slightly disgruntled employee. And I only was able to leave then after I bartered away my soul to the management, finally persuading them to relinquish me from their clutches. Good night. It is beyond asinine in there. And I’m disgruntled for many more reasons than today, so don’t go getting all self-righteous and preachy on me about how much longer farmers work or something equally ridiculous. I’ve been around the block. I know what the score is. I’ve worked much longer days than today. Bottom line is that you don’t know this situation and I do so just leave it at that!
Wow. After that little rant I feel refreshed! I was going to chronicle my recent victorious battle so that I would feel better about today’s experience in the Den, but I don’t have to anymore! For your benefit and enlightenment, however, I will anyway.
I’m becoming increasingly bitter and cynical about my absurdly inept valium and halcion. Each use renders it less and less effective. This time I took 2 valiums and 1 halcion and they must have just canceled each other out. Very disappointing. I walked in to the dentists office cheerful, bright, alert, witty, and charming. In an ideal world I shouldn’t even remember arriving.
Anyway, here’s the outcome:
Victor on the left, Vanquished on the right!
Though the victor does appear a bit shaken by the ordeal.
Here’s the position the vanquished formerly held, roughly.
Here’s a nice close-up. Man, those roots are big. Left a big ol’ gap in the gumline, let me tell you. Be thankful I’m not posting a pic of THAT!
Not hard to see why I was ready to repeal this thing’s right to residency in my oral cavity.
I was forced to resort to uncharacteristically devious means in order to procure my violently-removed fang. I asked the nurse if I could have it and she said yes. “It is your tooth,” she remarked.
But she came back a little later singing a different tune. Some stupid regulation undoubtedly dreamed up by a democrat forbid them of handing out leftover molars. “Do you really need it?” she asked. I said yes I did. I didn’t tell her, but I wanted it to show all the loyal ITF constituents.
She had it in a cup, so I longing looked at it for a minute or two while she patiently waited on me. Then she got the hint I think and kindly turned her back. I quickly slipped the appendage in my pocket, set the cup down on the counter, and briskly walked out of the room.
Normally I don’t do things like that, but I thought it was pretty important.
8 Responses
November 9th, 2005 at 10:58 pm
Okay, you crossed the line. This is too much.
I’m out of here…….
Ag
November 10th, 2005 at 12:53 am
YES !!!! You’re my hero, you win the golden cross……er..I mean Golden Tooth award! If your wonderfull wife would agree, you could get it gold plated and hang it on your wall. That cavity makes the Grand Canyon look pitifully small by comparison. Not only did you survive the whole ordeal of getting it drug out of your mouth and into the open air, but you rescued it from a terrible fate that would have awaited it, had it been left in the ignoble hands of the professionals. YES !! once again, from your Canadian Bro.
November 10th, 2005 at 6:38 am
You know, this all gives me great courage!! I’m getting my wisdom teeth taken, probobly next week, and the fact that you’re alive to tell about getting that tooth out, well, it gives me hope for survival!
~Lauren
November 10th, 2005 at 10:28 am
I have no doubt, first of all, that you work harder and more often then me. Take this moment for instance…I’m at work but blogging. That’s what happens when you work for daddy.
Second, this won’t affect that delicious meal I’m planning on eating at your home, right? I mean, you won’t be doped up on all sorts of supposed pain killers? The food would still probably be rock’n though so I have no worries.
-Kaitlyn
November 10th, 2005 at 10:12 pm
Tom, If you begin to feel guilty of stealing that tooth from the dental agency why not package it neatly and return it? Just tell them you borrowed it for a bit. You could even email them a link to your blog. That way they can see why you needed it so badly!
November 11th, 2005 at 6:42 pm
Why, would they not let you have the silly tooth? That makes no sense….
You know the nice thing about farming? We can go play golf whenever we want to…..
November 13th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Oh, thanks so much for that Glen, that makes me feel so good!
November 14th, 2005 at 7:50 pm
Yes, Tom, we ARE thankful for the picture you so kindly did not post. Funny, though, how your Canadian brother is so much more sympathetic to you than my Canadian Dad EVER was to me. Are we really related??!