In my illustrious financial history, I have used my credit cards to the point of meltdown. Purchases of hundreds of dollars were commonplace, no one batted an eye about my reputability, transactions sailed right through with nary a doubt or suspicion.

Today I went to the dollar store. And since I despise wasting perfectly good cash money paying for stuff, I whipped out the trusty Mastercard. My bill was a whopping $3.71.

She said, “May I see some identification please?”

My lands. Did she think I was going to fraudulently charge $3.71?!!

Frightened that my swindle was about to be exposed, I calmly (as much as I could manage) showed her my fake drivers license. Appeased, she let me go and approved the transaction.