Today I violated my conscience.

And I didn’t just bend or fracture it, I shattered it. I guess I really made it worth my while.

I feel bad about it, of course, but at the same time I’m struggling with the notion that I was manipulated somewhat by circumstances. That I was maybe justified in doing it because of threatened retribution.

But how important do you consider your convictions if you cave and they topple at the first sign of opposition? They certainly aren’t growing stronger! Tribulation certainly isn’t working patience!

And this was something I have stood up valiantly for in the past, triumphantly even. It’s something I hold dear to my heart, I’ve nurtured a great passion for it for many years.

But this time I was strongly opposed, I was informed in no uncertain terms what the consequences would be. And the consequence would have been disciplinary action at work, to some degree putting my job in jeapardy.

Does that mean my job is more important to me than my conviction? I cry “no,” but the evidence says “yes.” I don’t know what to think.

For years I have passionately stood up for mankind’s inborn right to have Saturday’s off work. Shouldn’t even be a question, you get Saturday off no matter what. I fondly remember many an affirming conversation I had in years past with Mrs. Darling’s brother about this God-given right of all men. We vehemently agreed that 8 hours a day was enough and Saturdays were off limits.

The Den of Iniquity has been going through very difficult times lately. Production has been greatly hindered by varied and sundry obstacles, and overtime has shot through the roof. Rarely does management demand that we work a Saturday, and if they do it’s usually only until noon.

Not so today. They demanded attendance, and they demanded a full production day. What they got was a day’s production in about a day and a half’s production time. It was almost evening before I finally punched out (we begin at 6 a.m.), this was the longest day I had ever logged in service for the Den on Iniquity.

So anyway, that’s why I’m struggling with body, mind, spirit, and emotions.